Its always the times I'm busiest I decide to write. So I have no time to write. :P ...If i were to write about my day, it would be really depressing. stress, homework, mental breakdown, shots, singing, dance, acting, overall grumpiness directed towards gum stealers. and my neck hurts. but Today, after I finished crying and having a horrible day, I thought how miserable I was and how i realllyyyy reallyyy wanted a friend to call me and tell me how wonderful i was and how much they loved me, because after another nightmare about my best friend ditching me, I was pretty lonely and self-esteem deficient. Then I thought about how often I called other people like that. So I called someone. Someone I haven't talked to in a while, and even though IM the one with the bad day I tried to sound happy and told them how much i appreciated them...I told them exactly what I wanted to be told. and then I sat in front of my computer and ate chocolate chips to keep myself happy. BADDD habit. :( I am a sinner. ...anwayy, now I'm failing again and wishing I could move to another state and be with my friends. And feeling very, very depressed. And lonely. And quite miserable. But Im not bitter.
...Life is good. LIFE IS GOOD. I AM HAPPYYYY. so happy.
...the sun was shining yesterday. and i went for a 2.5 hour drive, and it was lovely. Listened to some soothing vienna teng. sang along...today I umm did something good...umm i got a 97 on my math test, and brought my grade up!! yay. ...I also...um. I had a greattt voice lesson. Well, it was ok. But compared to the rest of my day, it was great. And I decided to not do forensics. Stressful. And I am going to hang out with friends this weekend. YAY. I havent seen half of these people since december, and more than half since uhhh maybe november or october. sadd sadd sadd. sadd, too, that I can't figure out proper percentages... My math teacher would be ashamed. Not that the 56 on my math test wasnt ashaming enough LAST month.....but hey, this month was good. So I AM HAPPYYY.
...um...good things....I found my contacts this morning. that made me happy. And when I yelled at mom today and was really mean and sarcastic and cutting, she was just quiet. And I started crying and she wasn't mean back. That was a definite plus. Thanks mom. Annnddd...good things...um. Hot n' spicy cheez its are nice. ohh im horrible at trying to be positive when I am NOT in a good mood. Why do i always write when I'm grumpy??? Probalby so other people will feel sorry for me. Its for attention, I know it is. :( I am soo pathetic. hahahahahaha...okay, what good things happened itn your day today???
Monday, March 2, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
McDonalds Adventures
Rosalind is exhausted and just finished her homework but is veryy happy after going with a bunch of friends from the musical to see "Escanaba In Love" at Farmer's Alley....it was hilarious. And Rachael, the guy in it said he went to school with you...Sean something. way good looking...he was in Les Miserables. Said hes friends with you on facebook...asked how you were. Mentioned you did forensics together...haha I think he was kinda suprized when I didn't really know much about what you did in forensics, and maybe somewhat sad since he wanted to discuss it...anyway. it was a great show.
....and when morgan and i went to dinner beforehand, we went to McDonalds...and the guy that took our orders was hitting on me. He said, "Hello, how are you all doing tonight?" and I said, "Hi!" He looked at me and laughed and said, "Aw, that made my day--you're the happiest person I've talked to for weeks. Can you come in earlier?" Morgan laughed and winked at me...the guy was cute, but um kinda weird can you say? haha anyway, then He said to morgan, "Is she always like this?" "yeah, she's always happy and hyper." He laughed...and then when i was ordering, I couldn't decide on what mcflurry to get, and i asked what his favorite was. He said probably oreo and m&ms. I said, "okay, ill go with that." Then some guy came over and said, "oh it doesnt work like that....you cant convert a drink to a mcflurry." he said, "oh ok. " the other kid left and the guy smiled at me and said, hold on ill be fast." He gave it to me as a drink...as we walked away the other guy came over and started yelling at him for giving me a discount that somehow didn't exist. I felt kinda bad, i was willing to pay...then morgan and i were eating in a corner and he came over and leaned on the back of a chair and started talking to us. he said, "sorry, I actually wasn't supposed to mix the two things together...it's not allowed...and I changed it to a drink, too." "Oh, well i can pay for that--" "No, no--i just thought you might want to know...so how are you guys?" It was realllyyy funny... then he left and some other worker came out of the bathroom. he recognized us...it was tyler thorton. he talked to us for a few minutes about the musical...then the one guy that had taken our orders came around the corner and saw his coworker and called out, "hey man--come on!" tyler left. Morgan watched over my shoulder---my back was to them. She stifled a laugh and whispered, "He's asking tyler if he knows us. nice." another worker passed buy us at least 6 times...he asked if we wanted napkins, asked how our food was, and then later asked if there was anything he could do for us, and then he said, "I'm your personal server for the night." ...we left as soon as we could, and burst out laughing when we got to the car. I turned to morgan and said, "that never happens to me when im not around you. whats up with YOU?" she laughed, "none of them even looked at me! it's YOUR Fault!!" it was pretty hilarious...apparently, workers at mcdonalds get boreddd with their long days....thats the best service ive ever had at a fast food restaurant...the one guy told us to come back more often....hm. eh, i doubt id be able to get a discount again.
anyway, our adventures at mcdonalds transferred to steak n shake, where we met chase and justin...they ordered and ate in 3 minutes flat, a triple steak burger and fries for each of them...they were eating pretty slow until morgan said, "we're gonna be late. whoever finishes first gets a kiss." Poor justin...chase won, they kissed, and we ran out the door...we were at the theater in perfect timing...and it was great, like ive said...now im going to bed, I have a show to do tomorrow...goodnight!!
....and when morgan and i went to dinner beforehand, we went to McDonalds...and the guy that took our orders was hitting on me. He said, "Hello, how are you all doing tonight?" and I said, "Hi!" He looked at me and laughed and said, "Aw, that made my day--you're the happiest person I've talked to for weeks. Can you come in earlier?" Morgan laughed and winked at me...the guy was cute, but um kinda weird can you say? haha anyway, then He said to morgan, "Is she always like this?" "yeah, she's always happy and hyper." He laughed...and then when i was ordering, I couldn't decide on what mcflurry to get, and i asked what his favorite was. He said probably oreo and m&ms. I said, "okay, ill go with that." Then some guy came over and said, "oh it doesnt work like that....you cant convert a drink to a mcflurry." he said, "oh ok. " the other kid left and the guy smiled at me and said, hold on ill be fast." He gave it to me as a drink...as we walked away the other guy came over and started yelling at him for giving me a discount that somehow didn't exist. I felt kinda bad, i was willing to pay...then morgan and i were eating in a corner and he came over and leaned on the back of a chair and started talking to us. he said, "sorry, I actually wasn't supposed to mix the two things together...it's not allowed...and I changed it to a drink, too." "Oh, well i can pay for that--" "No, no--i just thought you might want to know...so how are you guys?" It was realllyyy funny... then he left and some other worker came out of the bathroom. he recognized us...it was tyler thorton. he talked to us for a few minutes about the musical...then the one guy that had taken our orders came around the corner and saw his coworker and called out, "hey man--come on!" tyler left. Morgan watched over my shoulder---my back was to them. She stifled a laugh and whispered, "He's asking tyler if he knows us. nice." another worker passed buy us at least 6 times...he asked if we wanted napkins, asked how our food was, and then later asked if there was anything he could do for us, and then he said, "I'm your personal server for the night." ...we left as soon as we could, and burst out laughing when we got to the car. I turned to morgan and said, "that never happens to me when im not around you. whats up with YOU?" she laughed, "none of them even looked at me! it's YOUR Fault!!" it was pretty hilarious...apparently, workers at mcdonalds get boreddd with their long days....thats the best service ive ever had at a fast food restaurant...the one guy told us to come back more often....hm. eh, i doubt id be able to get a discount again.
anyway, our adventures at mcdonalds transferred to steak n shake, where we met chase and justin...they ordered and ate in 3 minutes flat, a triple steak burger and fries for each of them...they were eating pretty slow until morgan said, "we're gonna be late. whoever finishes first gets a kiss." Poor justin...chase won, they kissed, and we ran out the door...we were at the theater in perfect timing...and it was great, like ive said...now im going to bed, I have a show to do tomorrow...goodnight!!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Useless
What can you say? When the phone rings and your friend tells you--there's little you can do or say to help comfort the loss of a loved one. It's an impossible circumstance. But it's worse when you know you have knowledge that could help to heal them, that you know there is a plan and that they will be with their family again, that they will be together forever. And you just can't say it...so you stand and say, "I'm sorry, I love you, I'll be praying for you." Just like everyone else...and you feel worthless.
Friday, January 30, 2009
A Poem For Eric...yeah, that's you...;)
WELL!! This week has been busy!...new classes and teachers....but things are going well. :) Rehearsals are picking up, and I'm starting to really love this musical...so yay!! ...yesterday I didn't go to school, and I slept until 2:40, when the phone rang and woke me up. Then I wrote and English paper, wrote a current event paper, and wrote a critique for Deathtrap....I baked a cake and read scriptures and wrote in my journal and went to bed. I felt soo good when I woke up this morning, I was soo awake!! Today was a good day...I got everything done, and my dancing was good...and I've started to connect with my character, and find my relationships with those around me.
I feel like I should write something wonderfully insperational and philisophical...but I just can't think of anything. Eric would have a million ideas, and my mind is blank...maybe I'm just not as amazingly insperational as Eric. I feel like my life is kinda in a rut...I excercise, sing, act, dance, work, sleep, and go to church every 7 days. Most of these things I love...but I don't have time to think as much during the day, I'm so busy. I don't really write for pleasure...all my creativity is being channeled into my singing, dancing, or acting. I feel kinda drained...like my only life is on the stage. maybe I'm overworking myself...What I really want to do is go outside, and walk through the trees and lie in the snow and watch it fall...and just--not do anything. Just lie there...not thinking of anything in particular. Wondering about insignificant things. Or just clearing my mind of all the business...So it's completley blank. And then I'd let my thoughts come slowly...those simple, wondering thoughts. The ones that are so obvious, but that people seem to ignore in their busy lives. I'd think these thoughts...and imagine lying there in the snow with my closest friends, quietly thinking, or laughing or making snow angels or having a snow fight...something I haven't done for a long time.
Okay that was random.
And it didn't make any sense. Sorry, Eric, I fail. :(
haha I just tried to think of something creative and moving...and I started singing...it was very pretty, moving music...but it wasnt anything I could write. :(
i wish i had more time
time to think, or to not think at all
time to watch the snowflakes fall
i wish i had more space
space to run, or to stand still and breathe
space to quietly think and grieve
i wish i had more inspiration
inspiration to come up with something astounding
to write in this stupid lame poem.
ok, so I stole an idea from you and put poetry in my blog. get over it, yours is better anyway. :(
Well, I thought it was a good day, but writing in my blog boring things about my life suddenly made it a very bad day....oh well. Jessica is coming over tonight to do something fun...maybe I'll feel better then. I'm hungry.
mood: grumpy and uncreative and impatient and hungry.
face: :P
I feel like I should write something wonderfully insperational and philisophical...but I just can't think of anything. Eric would have a million ideas, and my mind is blank...maybe I'm just not as amazingly insperational as Eric. I feel like my life is kinda in a rut...I excercise, sing, act, dance, work, sleep, and go to church every 7 days. Most of these things I love...but I don't have time to think as much during the day, I'm so busy. I don't really write for pleasure...all my creativity is being channeled into my singing, dancing, or acting. I feel kinda drained...like my only life is on the stage. maybe I'm overworking myself...What I really want to do is go outside, and walk through the trees and lie in the snow and watch it fall...and just--not do anything. Just lie there...not thinking of anything in particular. Wondering about insignificant things. Or just clearing my mind of all the business...So it's completley blank. And then I'd let my thoughts come slowly...those simple, wondering thoughts. The ones that are so obvious, but that people seem to ignore in their busy lives. I'd think these thoughts...and imagine lying there in the snow with my closest friends, quietly thinking, or laughing or making snow angels or having a snow fight...something I haven't done for a long time.
Okay that was random.
And it didn't make any sense. Sorry, Eric, I fail. :(
haha I just tried to think of something creative and moving...and I started singing...it was very pretty, moving music...but it wasnt anything I could write. :(
i wish i had more time
time to think, or to not think at all
time to watch the snowflakes fall
i wish i had more space
space to run, or to stand still and breathe
space to quietly think and grieve
i wish i had more inspiration
inspiration to come up with something astounding
to write in this stupid lame poem.
ok, so I stole an idea from you and put poetry in my blog. get over it, yours is better anyway. :(
Well, I thought it was a good day, but writing in my blog boring things about my life suddenly made it a very bad day....oh well. Jessica is coming over tonight to do something fun...maybe I'll feel better then. I'm hungry.
mood: grumpy and uncreative and impatient and hungry.
face: :P
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Finals Are Over...Finally. :)
Finals are over...finally. ;) I'm so glad...I haven't checked my grades yet, I know the first few but I haven't bothered to look at the others...something which, I am sure, sets me apart from my sisters. Oh, well. I've had rehearsals nonstop, It's really stressful and very hard on my legs...they are soo sore!! ...maybe that's also because I've started running every day after rehearsal...why am I such an exercise freak? It's not like I don't get enough at rehearsal...yesterday I danced for 4 hours. ...anyway, things have been going well lately, I've made friends with lots of people, and I'm really enjoying rehearsals more....I spent 4 hours painting the set the other day, and it was a blast...afterwards, Morgan, Lucas, Anica and I went out to lunch.
Last night I cleaned and vacuumed my room and bathroom, did laundry, and wrote an essay for my EFA grant application...I was in the shower when Jessica got here. We talked about EFY and I taught her the dance...then we had a dance party and watched a movie and made pizzas...they were realllyyy good.
Today I was supposed to hang out with a bunch of random people...Eric and Aubrey and then some other people wanted to hang out too...I was actually going to do something with Eric, but we couldn't think of anyone else we wanted to hang out with, and we couldn't do something just us cuz apparently thats a date...so he said he'd call if he could think of anyone, but I said uhh how bout another time...so I'm doing something with Daddy today!! :D...I'm really excited, actually. Dad's been gone for a week, and I was pretty busy with finals and rehearsals and stuff, but I still really missed him...and mom told me today he'll be gone for two weeks again in a week. So I'm excited to spend time with him and do fun stuff.
...I'm going to go to the box office and help fill out ticket orders...
Last night I cleaned and vacuumed my room and bathroom, did laundry, and wrote an essay for my EFA grant application...I was in the shower when Jessica got here. We talked about EFY and I taught her the dance...then we had a dance party and watched a movie and made pizzas...they were realllyyy good.
Today I was supposed to hang out with a bunch of random people...Eric and Aubrey and then some other people wanted to hang out too...I was actually going to do something with Eric, but we couldn't think of anyone else we wanted to hang out with, and we couldn't do something just us cuz apparently thats a date...so he said he'd call if he could think of anyone, but I said uhh how bout another time...so I'm doing something with Daddy today!! :D...I'm really excited, actually. Dad's been gone for a week, and I was pretty busy with finals and rehearsals and stuff, but I still really missed him...and mom told me today he'll be gone for two weeks again in a week. So I'm excited to spend time with him and do fun stuff.
...I'm going to go to the box office and help fill out ticket orders...
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Stressed, Exhausted, and Busy
Finals are next week and I am so very stressed and so very exhausted and so very busy. This year, instead of taking the whole cast for a click recording, Mulay and Hunter chose 10 girls and 10 guys to go...and guess who got stuck in a very long rehearsal that went two hours over. uh-HUH...But we sound pretty fabulous. Mulay joked that she should cut everyone else out of the show and then it would sound amazing...somehow, I doubt many other people would have found that funny...anyway. I've been working super hard all week, and I got a perfect score on my math test and a 50/51 on my speech...YAY!! ...so hopefully those grades will be pulled up...Biology is fabulous as always, and I am amazed to find it is my best class. I can never decide what I want to do in life, I enjoy so many things. One minute I want to be an ER doctor, then I want to be a singer or actress or dancer, then I want to be a phsycologist or therapist...I know I LOVE dance and singing, and I love Science and I love people...I want to do something working to help people...help save lives, help make lives better through therapy ect, or help spread joy and gladness..haha...through singing or dance. I just want to help people, and sing and dance. ...and do something with health care maybe...hmm.
...but right now, I just wanna get through finals. ugh....though I only have to go to school 3 days out of 4...all half days except the last, which is only 2 hours. ;) ...Musical Theater only has a end-of-year final. yay....so i get to skip wednesday. hahahahahahahahah. ...I think I'm going to see death trap...a musical Mulay is directing at the Civic...tomorrow or saturday...maybe I'll get some friends together. Aubrey, Eric, Justin, and maybe Anthony and I are going sledding next week...and I'll probably hang out with friends and study with friends and do something else with Eric and Justin. ...and study a lot. yep
I signed up for efy in normal, illinois!! Im roomates with Kim, and we linked ourselves to Angus and Ian. I am so excited...beyond beleif. and I'm going to girls' camp with kim and maybe Y.C. and we'll probably hang out more besides...I think she and Angus are coming up in Feb, to maybe see All Shook Up and hang out...maybe go to a dance or something. yay. ...I love my friends...I have good friends this year...in and out of Michigan. :D
I'm trying to think of something cool and exciting that isn't so personal i can't put it up online....It's hard. hmm. ...I can't wait to turn 16....it'll be way easier to see Kim and Angus and Ian...we can meet at towns in between our own. yess!!
...many thanks to mary beth and ruth. Ruth, the shampoo you got me is amazing....my hair is literally not frizzy at all...and when i blow dry it it is almost as if i straightened it. I go through it with a straightener here and there to get little spots in back, and then it looks fine!!! thank you sooo much!!
...and rachael, i love my purse so much..its my favorite i use it every day. I have had so many girls, at least 10 the first day, tell me they loved it and they wanted to buy one just like it. they asked where I got it and how much it was. They were absolutley awed when I said my sister made it, and kinda dissapointed they couldn't go buy one...I've decided the next girl that asks me, I will tell her I got it hand-made, I picked the design, and it came mail- order. ill tell her she can order one for 50 bucks...or maybe 100. that's not unrealistic for something you pick the colors for and it's hand made...you could make a ton of money on that, rachael....think about it!!
well gotta go, im exhausted and i need sleep!!
...but right now, I just wanna get through finals. ugh....though I only have to go to school 3 days out of 4...all half days except the last, which is only 2 hours. ;) ...Musical Theater only has a end-of-year final. yay....so i get to skip wednesday. hahahahahahahahah. ...I think I'm going to see death trap...a musical Mulay is directing at the Civic...tomorrow or saturday...maybe I'll get some friends together. Aubrey, Eric, Justin, and maybe Anthony and I are going sledding next week...and I'll probably hang out with friends and study with friends and do something else with Eric and Justin. ...and study a lot. yep
I signed up for efy in normal, illinois!! Im roomates with Kim, and we linked ourselves to Angus and Ian. I am so excited...beyond beleif. and I'm going to girls' camp with kim and maybe Y.C. and we'll probably hang out more besides...I think she and Angus are coming up in Feb, to maybe see All Shook Up and hang out...maybe go to a dance or something. yay. ...I love my friends...I have good friends this year...in and out of Michigan. :D
I'm trying to think of something cool and exciting that isn't so personal i can't put it up online....It's hard. hmm. ...I can't wait to turn 16....it'll be way easier to see Kim and Angus and Ian...we can meet at towns in between our own. yess!!
...many thanks to mary beth and ruth. Ruth, the shampoo you got me is amazing....my hair is literally not frizzy at all...and when i blow dry it it is almost as if i straightened it. I go through it with a straightener here and there to get little spots in back, and then it looks fine!!! thank you sooo much!!
...and rachael, i love my purse so much..its my favorite i use it every day. I have had so many girls, at least 10 the first day, tell me they loved it and they wanted to buy one just like it. they asked where I got it and how much it was. They were absolutley awed when I said my sister made it, and kinda dissapointed they couldn't go buy one...I've decided the next girl that asks me, I will tell her I got it hand-made, I picked the design, and it came mail- order. ill tell her she can order one for 50 bucks...or maybe 100. that's not unrealistic for something you pick the colors for and it's hand made...you could make a ton of money on that, rachael....think about it!!
well gotta go, im exhausted and i need sleep!!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
A Quick Update During Econ...
I AM SO SORE!! I started conditioning on monday...My abs hurt so much I think I will die. I've been dancing all week...Monday alone I danced for 5 hours. Bleh. ...and then some girl decided to take pictures of me dancing, and they're all over facebook...but I guess that's okay since I look super flexible in the picture. I'm just exhausted right now...and I have so much to do...I can't wait until finals, just to be DONE. ...and because I will only have three days with school, two of which are half days and one only 1 hour long...because my EFA class is cancelled on exam days. Joy!! ...so basically my life right now includes seminary, school, dance, and homework...I have no life. Maybe this weekend I will have time to do more homework...hmmm. Okay, bell's about to ring, I better go...
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