A Poem For Eric...yeah, that's you...;)

WELL!! This week has been busy!...new classes and teachers....but things are going well. :) Rehearsals are picking up, and I'm starting to really love this musical...so yay!! ...yesterday I didn't go to school, and I slept until 2:40, when the phone rang and woke me up. Then I wrote and English paper, wrote a current event paper, and wrote a critique for Deathtrap....I baked a cake and read scriptures and wrote in my journal and went to bed. I felt soo good when I woke up this morning, I was soo awake!! Today was a good day...I got everything done, and my dancing was good...and I've started to connect with my character, and find my relationships with those around me.

I feel like I should write something wonderfully insperational and philisophical...but I just can't think of anything. Eric would have a million ideas, and my mind is blank...maybe I'm just not as amazingly insperational as Eric. I feel like my life is kinda in a rut...I excercise, sing, act, dance, work, sleep, and go to church every 7 days. Most of these things I love...but I don't have time to think as much during the day, I'm so busy. I don't really write for pleasure...all my creativity is being channeled into my singing, dancing, or acting. I feel kinda drained...like my only life is on the stage. maybe I'm overworking myself...What I really want to do is go outside, and walk through the trees and lie in the snow and watch it fall...and just--not do anything. Just lie there...not thinking of anything in particular. Wondering about insignificant things. Or just clearing my mind of all the business...So it's completley blank. And then I'd let my thoughts come slowly...those simple, wondering thoughts. The ones that are so obvious, but that people seem to ignore in their busy lives. I'd think these thoughts...and imagine lying there in the snow with my closest friends, quietly thinking, or laughing or making snow angels or having a snow fight...something I haven't done for a long time.

Okay that was random.

And it didn't make any sense. Sorry, Eric, I fail. :(

haha I just tried to think of something creative and moving...and I started singing...it was very pretty, moving music...but it wasnt anything I could write. :(

i wish i had more time
time to think, or to not think at all
time to watch the snowflakes fall

i wish i had more space
space to run, or to stand still and breathe
space to quietly think and grieve

i wish i had more inspiration
inspiration to come up with something astounding
to write in this stupid lame poem.

ok, so I stole an idea from you and put poetry in my blog. get over it, yours is better anyway. :(
Well, I thought it was a good day, but writing in my blog boring things about my life suddenly made it a very bad day....oh well. Jessica is coming over tonight to do something fun...maybe I'll feel better then. I'm hungry.

mood: grumpy and uncreative and impatient and hungry.

face: :P

Finals Are Over...Finally. :)

Finals are over...finally. ;) I'm so glad...I haven't checked my grades yet, I know the first few but I haven't bothered to look at the others...something which, I am sure, sets me apart from my sisters. Oh, well. I've had rehearsals nonstop, It's really stressful and very hard on my legs...they are soo sore!! ...maybe that's also because I've started running every day after rehearsal...why am I such an exercise freak? It's not like I don't get enough at rehearsal...yesterday I danced for 4 hours. ...anyway, things have been going well lately, I've made friends with lots of people, and I'm really enjoying rehearsals more....I spent 4 hours painting the set the other day, and it was a blast...afterwards, Morgan, Lucas, Anica and I went out to lunch.

Last night I cleaned and vacuumed my room and bathroom, did laundry, and wrote an essay for my EFA grant application...I was in the shower when Jessica got here. We talked about EFY and I taught her the dance...then we had a dance party and watched a movie and made pizzas...they were realllyyy good.

Today I was supposed to hang out with a bunch of random people...Eric and Aubrey and then some other people wanted to hang out too...I was actually going to do something with Eric, but we couldn't think of anyone else we wanted to hang out with, and we couldn't do something just us cuz apparently thats a date...so he said he'd call if he could think of anyone, but I said uhh how bout another time...so I'm doing something with Daddy today!! :D...I'm really excited, actually. Dad's been gone for a week, and I was pretty busy with finals and rehearsals and stuff, but I still really missed him...and mom told me today he'll be gone for two weeks again in a week. So I'm excited to spend time with him and do fun stuff.

...I'm going to go to the box office and help fill out ticket orders...

Stressed, Exhausted, and Busy

Finals are next week and I am so very stressed and so very exhausted and so very busy. This year, instead of taking the whole cast for a click recording, Mulay and Hunter chose 10 girls and 10 guys to go...and guess who got stuck in a very long rehearsal that went two hours over. uh-HUH...But we sound pretty fabulous. Mulay joked that she should cut everyone else out of the show and then it would sound amazing...somehow, I doubt many other people would have found that funny...anyway. I've been working super hard all week, and I got a perfect score on my math test and a 50/51 on my speech...YAY!! ...so hopefully those grades will be pulled up...Biology is fabulous as always, and I am amazed to find it is my best class. I can never decide what I want to do in life, I enjoy so many things. One minute I want to be an ER doctor, then I want to be a singer or actress or dancer, then I want to be a phsycologist or therapist...I know I LOVE dance and singing, and I love Science and I love people...I want to do something working to help people...help save lives, help make lives better through therapy ect, or help spread joy and gladness..haha...through singing or dance. I just want to help people, and sing and dance. ...and do something with health care maybe...hmm.
...but right now, I just wanna get through finals. ugh....though I only have to go to school 3 days out of 4...all half days except the last, which is only 2 hours. ;) ...Musical Theater only has a end-of-year final. yay....so i get to skip wednesday. hahahahahahahahah. ...I think I'm going to see death trap...a musical Mulay is directing at the Civic...tomorrow or saturday...maybe I'll get some friends together. Aubrey, Eric, Justin, and maybe Anthony and I are going sledding next week...and I'll probably hang out with friends and study with friends and do something else with Eric and Justin. ...and study a lot. yep

I signed up for efy in normal, illinois!! Im roomates with Kim, and we linked ourselves to Angus and Ian. I am so excited...beyond beleif. and I'm going to girls' camp with kim and maybe Y.C. and we'll probably hang out more besides...I think she and Angus are coming up in Feb, to maybe see All Shook Up and hang out...maybe go to a dance or something. yay. ...I love my friends...I have good friends this year...in and out of Michigan. :D

I'm trying to think of something cool and exciting that isn't so personal i can't put it up online....It's hard. hmm. ...I can't wait to turn 16....it'll be way easier to see Kim and Angus and Ian...we can meet at towns in between our own. yess!!

...many thanks to mary beth and ruth. Ruth, the shampoo you got me is amazing....my hair is literally not frizzy at all...and when i blow dry it it is almost as if i straightened it. I go through it with a straightener here and there to get little spots in back, and then it looks fine!!! thank you sooo much!!

...and rachael, i love my purse so much..its my favorite i use it every day. I have had so many girls, at least 10 the first day, tell me they loved it and they wanted to buy one just like it. they asked where I got it and how much it was. They were absolutley awed when I said my sister made it, and kinda dissapointed they couldn't go buy one...I've decided the next girl that asks me, I will tell her I got it hand-made, I picked the design, and it came mail- order. ill tell her she can order one for 50 bucks...or maybe 100. that's not unrealistic for something you pick the colors for and it's hand made...you could make a ton of money on that, rachael....think about it!!

well gotta go, im exhausted and i need sleep!!

A Quick Update During Econ...

I AM SO SORE!! I started conditioning on monday...My abs hurt so much I think I will die. I've been dancing all week...Monday alone I danced for 5 hours. Bleh. ...and then some girl decided to take pictures of me dancing, and they're all over facebook...but I guess that's okay since I look super flexible in the picture. I'm just exhausted right now...and I have so much to do...I can't wait until finals, just to be DONE. ...and because I will only have three days with school, two of which are half days and one only 1 hour long...because my EFA class is cancelled on exam days. Joy!! ...so basically my life right now includes seminary, school, dance, and homework...I have no life. Maybe this weekend I will have time to do more homework...hmmm. Okay, bell's about to ring, I better go...

You Can Live A Year On That Jack...

Friday was the best day EVER. KIM CAME!!!! She got to my house around 12. I saw her pull up and ran out the door, screaming. She ran to me and we pretty much smashed into eachother...it kinda hurt but that's okay, we were too busy screaming and yelling to care what the reason was. We hung out in my room, did our hair, and had a dance party to our favorite music...I'm sure mom and dad thought the house would fall down. Then we drove to the mall and got makeovers, and made faces at one another whenever the workers weren't looking. It was really fun. We shopped some...then we went to Airway lanes and met Eric, Justin, and Anthony....it was super busy so we played cards until there was an open lane. ...played cards with tiny 2x1 cards that were pink and yellow with a big tweety bird on them. Justin looked at them and said, "All my manliness just died." I looked up, suprised. "What manliness?"...I ducked, and everyone laughed, including Justin...Anthony grabbed Justin's arm and yelled, "Quick!! Watch football!!" We bowled...and Elise is rubbing off on me, because I made Kim tie my shoelaces. I HATE bowling shoes. It was really fun, even though I had the worst score...interesting, last time I got a turkey...This time I was lucky If I didn't have 3 opens in a row. Sad, sad, sad...But Kim made me feel better by giving me back rubs and high-fiving my horrid scores....well, the others high-fived me too, but they didn't give me back rubs. ...then I sneaked up behind Kim before she was about to bowl, and I poked her...She yelped, jumped in the air, and fell on the ground, still holding the ball, and started laughing uncontrollably. I tried to help her up, laughing pretty hard myself...Oh, I love that girl. Well, then we split into two cars and drove to Ming Dynasty...Eric was so funny. Kim and I went to the bathroom really quickly first, and He thought we were going to one of the exits. So he ran and got his car to pull it around...Then Kim and I came out, and assumed he had gone and was waiting outside...We went to look for him, out a different exit...we couldn't find him so we waited. He pulled up in abou 2 minutes, got out and opened the doors for us. We asked and he said he thougt we were going out the first door, so he raced to get the car to impress us...but we didn't show up, so he came over here and we were waiting for him. Poor guy....But we had a fabulous time singing along with the radio on the way to dinner. When we got there, I forgot that his car has only 2 doors, and shut Kim inside. Eric walked around the car and opened the door for her...as he was helping her out, I slipped on black ice and fell hard on my back and arm. Eric finished helping Kim, closed the door, turned and saw me, and walked over, laughing, to help me up. I finally laughed too, and as he offered me his hand and I took it, I said, "Is this becoming a tradition? Every time we hang out I slip on ice and you help me up?" He laughed. looked aoround and saw Justin carrying my dropped purse inside...aww, I have such nice guy friends!!!...we ate dinner and played farzle...It was so much fun. After about an hour, we decided to drive to my house and hang out some more...we played quelf, foosball, more farzle, and other various games...including egyptian ratscrew, this time with more manly cards. Anthony got REALLY into it...seriously, his expression was deranged and desperate. He slapped so hard I was sure the table would split in half, and he developed this kind of maniacle laughter through the course of the game when he got any cards. So, this game accomplished 2 things...a very interesting laugh for anthony and an explination for why he rarely plays cards, and a new saying from me..."You can live for a year on that jack." I think I said it when someone got the jack card for the first time...I don't remember. But it kinda developed so I heard Eric say angrily when Anthony stole his cards and started cackling madly, "Oh, Darn it!! He can live for a year on that jack!!" He sounded so depressed and morose, It was almost tearful. We played more farzle...Anthony helped me make cinnamon milk. Kim wanted Hot chocolate, and well---It SAYS to put 1/3 c for cinnamon milk, I guess maybe I thought it could be the same for hot chocolate. So Kim got a cup of verry chocolatey chocolate...and Anthony and I tried not to choke on our milk as we watched her try to keep a straight face and be polite about my granny's special hot chocolate recipe. Arond 10:30 maybe we decided we were pretty much done...so the 5 of us ran outside into the cold. ...Kim in a hoddie, me in a short-sleeved thin shirt and jeans...the guys had coats, I think. There ensued a snow/ice fight. I got snow down my shirt, and Anthony found a party popper thingie and popped it in my face. I thought I had been blinded by a firecracker...I opened my eyes to find confetti all over my hair. Kim and I got most of the guys in the face...I know for sure I got Eric, But I'm not sure If iI aimed as well with the other two. My hands were freezing by now, I thought they would fall off. I think I realized Eric was an insane gentleman somewhere in the period of time where he let me put my freezing hands on his warm cheecks...very kind of him, I'm sure It was terribly uncomfortable. He pretty much saved my night...Pulld the car around, helped me when I fell, let me freeze his face off so I could be more comfortable. ...Anthony provided entertainment...I WISH you could have seen his face during cards. Justin was just all-around Justin--the way he always is. insanely hilarious, easy-going...applauding my failures at bowling. Thanks for that. Kim--oh Kim I miss you...Kim made me happy. because just being around her I feel like...I CAN FLY LIKE SUPAMAN!!! or something along those lines. It was the best day ever....I hope we can do something like that again soon, it was soo much fun. Yay for good friends, Tweetie Bird cards, Chinease food, Farzling, and snowball fights.