welll im in a good mood.

dance has gone really well, i love love love my tap class....

and i danced soo hard yesterday, and im not sore at all, i feel GREATT!!!!!! it was almost easy, and after practicing it and getting it in my muscle memory so i wouldnt have to think about it, it was just effortless. except for the sweat pouring down my back, but i can deal with that.

today i gave my speech, and i completley and totally went up unprepared, but everyone said i looked so confident and i was very assertive, and my speech was really interesting and engaging and they liked it!!! yay!!

after school a couple kids from mt came over...we practiced dance till our clothes were soaked, made up our choreography for tomorrow, practiced monologues, ate ice cream, went running, threw walnuts at passing cars, and critiqued eachothers performances. it was so fun...i love theater kids

i am really loving my classes, too. they are hard, but i love how they challenge me. i love the people in them and ive made new friends already. a few need to learn how to keep their hands to themselves, but they'll catch on after they've had them slapped a few times...usual drill. ;)

and lets just say being able to come home during lunch saved my butt today...normally i would have had to call mom, go home and change, and come back...so yeahh it was nice to be able to just leave. :D you would think i would learn to be more prepared..hahaha.

and i am definitley losing weight. yesss. i just LOOK thinner. and yeahh it feels good. totally worth the food i skip out on and the sweat i lose in constant running and dancing.

aaaannnd i have tentative plans for this weekend...just waiting for the response from this guy... i really hope it works out, i'll feel horrible if it doesnt...i dont even know HOW many times he's asked me out, and i've always had a good reason why i cant....family in town, homework, can't drive, hanging out with friends, going to camp, ect ect... but he keeps trying and it makes me feel really sorry for him. clarification: that is definitley NOT why i want to hang out with him. He is pretty dang awesome. I don't do pity dates. anyway. i really hope we can get together this weekend, because i have free passes to gokarting and theres a ton of other stuff we can do...fun fun. :D

uggh. school is starting to get to me...still, im on top of my work...so yay.
only thing im really looking forward to is dancing my butt off tomorrow...for 2 hours and 45 minutes. the next day is an easy one, only 2 hours. halleluja. my life is so great.

so im not really sure how im feeling. i think i did something that may or may not end up blowing up in my face...if it doenst, itll be great, but if it does i am dead dead dead. i guess you just have to take risks in life sometimes. but im getting a feeling this is a risk i could have lived without taking.

my feet kill right now.

and i am very hungry. i had a peice of toast for breakfast, and two peices of toast for lunch. hmmm. not a very balanced diet.....i should fix that, but im too lazy. haha.

im just exhausted...from everything. sleep deprivation, hard work, excercise, and social stress. blaahhh.

i guess i just feel... i dont even know...

im trying to figure out who i am, and who i want to be. and i just dont see anything...i have an idea of things i want to do, except not since im soo confused...but right now im just lost. what do i believe? how do i feel about stuff? what is my reaction to that? who the heck am i?? its not really set. i could be whatever i want to be. i could be shy or stupid or smart or outgoing or slutty or conservative if i wanted to be...ive always felt like i knew who i was and what i was like, and i could write a description of my characteristics noo problemm... now i dont know. i dont even know if im tall or short, thin or in need of losing a few. i dont know my own mind, and ive always been so opinionated and certain of everything.

all i know is i love music.

i dont know if i can say anything else about myself for certain.

My Smiles

I really don't have much to blog about, so I'll just write the good things.
fresh blueberries
Pantenne shampoo and conditioner
talking on the phone with elise
new makeup
camelback waterbottles
baguettes and brie
clean, green grass
a full tank
new towels
paycheck
finishing a good book
fruit leather
fully charged phone
white dresses
clean, tight jeans
carmex
chinn chinn's
late night walks
giving rachael hand massages
bear claw
watching the stars come out
painted toes
sweating...i know thats weird but when i'm running and sweating so bad it feels amazing
looking at the moon...and crying because it is so beautiful
losing weight
complimenting strangers
hot sun
kiwi
flowers in a vase
going to south haven with mom and dad....and walking along the pier in the rain and storm
big rings
belly laughs
quelf
pictures
writing in my journal after a simple, uneventful, good good good day
waking up with a cold breeze on my back
wild rice
being alone
straightening ruth's hair
smiling
driving with the windows down
shopping with friends
bonfires
back rubs
funny stories
hearing people use big words...and knowing what they mean!!
invitations
staying up late just to sit alone in the dark, listening to the silence, the peace
singing
knowing you made someone happy
a new razor
contemplating college!!!
night lights
meowing at yappy dogs
ultimate frisbee
hanging out with mom
kisses
sunglasses
mail
the picture elise sent me!!
walking in the rain
funny stories
random texts
bad movie nights with mary beth
playing what not to wear at target
new swimming suits
visiting kim and angus
raspberry lemonade
my little neices and nephew
paintballing
canoeing
dates
dances with emily!!
pranks
capture the flag
loud music
waking up completley well-rested

well, those are the things i can think of right now that make me happy. what are your smiles?