Monday, August 24, 2009

A Guilty Blog

I felt so guilty watching Mary Beth check my blog when I hadn't posted in months, especially after she responded to my inquiry with "I keep hoping"...cut me to the core.

...not that I have anything interesting to write about. I just felt like I really needed to write.

Since my little tantrum last week over my self-esteem issues, I have, according to the bathroom scale, lost about 10 pounds. My heart returned to normal, and I stopped putting so much trust in that stupid little scale. Still, I've been making a consistent effort to eat lots of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. I try to sleep more and I've been exercising more frequently--I'm going to go for a run once I finish this post. Even if it's not really making a true difference in my weight, I FEEL better about myself, and so when I look in the mirror I tend to look for the good things more.

I babysat for 10 hours today, and it was pleasantly uneventful. I was exhausted, I had a hard time sleeping last night, and I felt guilty that I kept zoning out before bringing myself firmly back to consciousness. Still, we had fun-- I made quesadillas for lunch, and was very amused to hear Jonah whisper to Reid, "I LIKE babysitters that can cook!!"

I ran to voice after work, but even though I had all green lights on the way there and I left work 15 minutes earlier than usual, I was 10 minutes late. Still, we got a lot done in my lesson, and I left with renewed determination to throw myself into my practice.

I stopped at Target and did some quick shopping, and stopped at the Bank--an hour after it closed--to deposit my check. Or not. Guess I'll get that done tomorrow.

I still have so much to do before the summer ends--I need to read Arabian Nights, find a tap dance class for this year, and apply for a job at Gander Mountain. This last is probably the most exciting. Excited at the prospect of possibly working there, also excited to maybe be able to answer the working question with "Gander Mountain." ...it just sounds so...impressively awesome. BUT. I don't think I will be able to apply for another month or so. Mom wants me to take the ACT before I get a job...which makes me very doubtful I will be able to find anything, that long after school starts. I have a hunch this is a plan of hers--she isn't very excited about me working at all. But when I need serious financial help in college, I can just say, "Hey, I got a scholarship, and I didn't work, when I could have done both." ...No... I know that'll never happen. Even if I really do need help...I feel really uncomfortable asking my parents for money.
...anyway. If Gander Mountain doesn't work out, I hear McDonald's is hiring. Like that, Mom?

...ok, well I'm in a pretty foul mood right now, and I sense a fight coming on if I stay in the house much longer. I think I'll run upstairs and change and run around outside until I'm too exhausted to move...

Oh!! soo soo soo soo soo excited--Mom and Dad are going to the temple this weekend, and I was going to spend the weekend at Kim's. Then Kim and I talked it over and decided to jump on the bandwagon, and go to the temple, too. I'm really excited to see her and go to the temple--I haven't been there in a while.

...meanwhile, I'm seriously considering getting purple highlights in my hair. Mom and Dad keep making comments about me trying to be rebellious...I figure if they are going to accuse me of such a thing, I should at least deserve it. What think you? Is purple good, or should I go with something more obvious--maybe a bright, obnoxious green. ;) love you both.

7 comments:

  1. 1) I think that scale is a couple pounds off--it always tells me I weigh more than the scale at the gym.

    2)Scholarships are going to pay WAY more than any job you can get in high school--I remember having this same fight with Mom, and I'm so glad she won! There's no way any job I had would have covered four full years of tuition. Enjoy the time to focus on your studies while you can; trust me, you'll look back on this wistfully when you're going to college full-time and working!

    3) Running is a good idea if you are feeling grumpy. :-)

    4) I won't even comment about the highlights, since I think you're just trying to get a rise out of us. :-) love you, stinker.

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  2. good advice rachael...

    yeahh i know that's true... and it's also true i will be really busy with a winter musical, spring play, dance and voice lessons, 5 ib classes and advanced musical theater...so maybe i should wait and see if i can handle all that first...but if i CAN have a job and do the rest, it would be nice to get some experience and extra money on top of scholarship stuff.

    lol. thanks, rach

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  3. Awww, thank you for posting! Love you, little sis. <3

    And I'm seconding Rachael on the scholarship--although I highly, highly recommend getting a part-time job once you're actually in college (and definitely work during the summer, as many hours as you can get). I've received over $30,000 in scholarships because of my grades--there's no way I could have made that much with a part-time minimum wage job!

    And I've never seen anyone who looked good with purple highlights. Just sayin'. <3

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  4. ok, so if i want to get a good part time job in college, say--as a receptionist or sometihng, or any other suggestions... what kind of experience should i get while in high school??

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  5. If you decide to get a job, I doubt purple highlights will help in the interview process. :)

    I am still waiting for my hair to grow out, and I am realizing just how pretty my natural hair color is.

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  6. I remember saying many many times, you don't have to listen to them, they are not your parents...now I'm saying, listen to them; they are not your parents.

    love you,
    dud

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  7. purple highlights are ugly and make people look trashy. just sayin'.........

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